random memories from the 7th grade

some time ago, i wrote down various memories from growing up. here's one:

I don’t know how me and Tammy fell out. I think it first started when she stole my SWV tape. I begged my mom to buy me that album for the longest. She finally bought it. I took it to school and Tammy stole it from me and lied about it. She was supposed to be my girl. Then she would clown me in front of people. She would talk about my feet, even though we wore the same size. And she would talk about me behind my back and talk about how my clothes never matched. Once again, we just weren’t operating in the finances to have the latest fashions. I might have gotten a few new shirts at the beginning of each school year, and that was about it. One day Jeff Hill took up for me, and told Tammy to leave me alone because my clothes were matching. I grew very bitter with resentment toward Tamira Williams.

One day we finally duked it out. She called me a “B” and I got offended. I told her her mamma, and then she pushed me. It was done from there. I snapped. I honestly believe Satan took over my body for the next 5minutes, because I felt like I entered a realm of darkness. I felt like I was the epitome of violence. I had never felt that angry or offended. I punched, puller hair, tussled, whatever. I pulled out a lot of the chic’s hair. She went to the nurse's office immediately after the fight. She tore my shirt, revealing my lime green bra. I got a lot of phone calls that night after the fight from the opposite sex. One guy told me he thought I was flat before he saw the fight. Most people said I won the fight, Tammy was pretty popular though. She had a fan club of loyals that said she won. I knew I had won it, but I didn’t rub it in, because I didn’t care about it that much. She wanted to get cool again after the fight. But one night she called my house and my mom went off on her

whatever the heck just happens to be on my mind today

1. I'm sitting in class--two rows ahead of me sits a young lady of completely European descent wearing a weave ponytail that is a slightly different color than her hair, and she keeps shaking it around and brushing it off her shoulders.
3. I'm 25, and feel like I'm 22. Why, I'm not sure if I'm facing a fear of growing up.
5. I keep thinking about this kiss...maybe I need to start casting down thoughts. But I was thinking...what if I fall deeply in love with someone and am ready to marry, and then the kiss sucks. Does that mean back out of it?
7. I am currently on strike from the website consciouslyawaitingadream.blogspot.com
9. I'm looking forward to Campus Ministry time tonight, though slightly nervous about Praise and Worship
11. The movie, Pride and Prejudice was awesome. I love Jane Austen. I love British Literature. It seems like women had it so easy back then. all they had to do was grow up, have a good reputation, be attractive, and then the man just approached and said, "i would to have you as my wife" and she either accepted or rejected. then, all that was expected of her was to be barefoot and pregnant., loving her sons and training her daughters to be women just like her.

12. II Cor 9:8 has been my main man for a while here

13. I still haven't revealed my secret crush, despite the inquiries. It's a weird sort of crush. Not ungodly, it came up unexpected, and for a person whose mind I know better than their spirit, flesh, will, and emotions. But, men who are spiritual and intelligent tend to win my attention in a major way.

It's my birthday Shawty!!!

Yeah, today is my birthday...I'm excited about what the year has to bring--particularly graduation.

I had a great Thanksgiving weekend. It was great seeing all my Kentucky friends/fam. We reunited and it felt so good. : ) I drove all the way down and back on expired tags, and didn't get pulled over, I was fortunate to avoid all encounters with the ex, and I sat at the dinner table where the vegetarians outnumbered the carnivores. It was great!!

MOVIE REVIEW: save yourself some time, money, disappointment and sanity...please don't go see RENT!!!

I read in Dr. Robin's book that since (of course) you're not supposed to have sex with someone before you marry, you'll know if you're sexually compatible just by the kiss. So now, I want a kiss! ; ) Am I bad? Somebody help me....

But back to my birthday, some of my friends celebrated with me last night. Tonight, I think I may roll solo to the theatre and see Pride and Prejudice. I probably won't be able to get anyone to see it with me anyway...

MY COMMUNICATION CONFESSIONS

Am I good communicator? It depends. If I'm telling you general information, I'm pretty good. When it comes to constructive criticism, or expressing dislikes, I'm not so good.

I recently realized that a lot of the people around me don't really know how I feel about certain things. I am the ultimate protector of feelings, and have found myself in the past being quite deceptive to elude any confrontations which would involve elaborating on one's character flaws.

I think the problem was that back in the day (before I knew Jesus) my mouth was off the charts. I never thought before I spoke. I just spoke, and usually the wrong (and inappropriate) things came out. I was a very disrespectful kid, profanity was my native language, and I didn't care about whose feelings I could hurt.

SO then I did a complete 180, and maybe now I care too much about people's feelings. I didn't tell my last boyfriend about some of his major flaws until we were through. And then, here lately, I've been making attempts to be more honest with people. Sometimes I proceed with caution, and a few times I've had some slips of the mouth.

So, the moral of the story is: please don't ask me a question where I may think that the truth could hurt your feelings. Unless you expressly ask me not to, there's a 75% chance that I will manipulate my answer. Sorry, I'm working on it.

last nights female quotes of the week

Okay, so two of my friends made comments last night that came out wrong (or right) that I wasn't ready for:

1. I have to get some Word in me before I go to bed, or else I be having dreams and stuff.

2. I rub on people I love, that's why I rub myself so much.

Now, I won't name the declarants of these statements!

ANywho, I had fun last night. For the first time ever, I sang on a praise and worship team. It was me, SHawndia, and Eric. I was nervous, and shaking, but my friends said I did really well. Despite my nervousness, I thought it went pretty well. I liked singing in the presence of God. It felt great, but it kind of felt like all eyes and ears were on me.

I love adrenaline rushes.

LOVE jones

I loved Larenz Tate in this movie. He said a line, and I'll paraphrase: "This is for the birds," referring to love. And sometimes, I agree, even though I know I shouldn't. I wrote a poem some time ago:

OFF THE MARKET

I had more shares than all the holders put together
The broker said put more cuz I was better
than the rest
passed all kinds of trials and tests
in victory
this gain was big for me
regardless of whether the market was bull or bear
this bull was there,
constantly investing every dime
of my money, my heart, my attention, my time
the stock was called
soul love
my spirit man prepared my tender soul
cuz...
the market crashed.....

Some FUN FACTS about the D

"In August, the U.S. Census Bureau declared Detroit the nation's poorest big city. Here, a third of the residents live below the federal poverty level -- $19,157 in household income for a family of four.
In some neighborhoods, more than 40 percent of working-age adults have some sort of disability.
The city, with a total property tax levy of 73 mills, has one of the highest tax rates in the state. More than 50 percent of its residents are illiterate. Car and property insurance rates are multiple times higher than in the suburbs.
The city's population has dropped since 2000 from 951,270 to 911,402 -- about 4 percent -- the biggest loss of any U.S. city with 100,000 or more residents.
And Detroit has one of the highest rates for infection by sexually transmitted diseases, like syphilis."

So, stay in after midnight (unless you're going to 7/11, Meijer, Kroger, or Super Wal-Mart)

rAnDOmNEss

* I like when black men wear blue shirts and blue ties

* Kanye shouldn't have said that junk

* I'm turning 25 this month

* I dance in front of the mirror

* I sing in front of the mirror

* I make my roommate hug me every night before she goes to bed

* I love NY, and I want to go to a Bulls game

* After a few years, I bought a pair of tight jeans the other day

* Church is my favorite place to go

* I think I have a secret crush on someone

* I like gold, but I'm not a golddigger

* There's some cute light brothers out there, but I prefer browns

* I hate when people complain a lot

* I appreciate Dana's keepin-it-real-ness

* I love wearing earthtones

* If I got a multi-million dollar acting deal, I would postpone my graduation plans

* playing the keyboard makes me feel gooey on the inside

* I don't like wearing purple

* I haven't kissed a man in about 2 years

* The midwest is cool, but the coasts are where it's really at

* If it wasn't for Word of Faith, there's no way I'd stay in Michigan

* I still think of Eric Harris as my baby cousin

* I have 2 nephews, 3 nieces

* I still think I want at least 3 or 4 kids

* "Aint nothin open after midnight but legs"