looking at the list

So dana tells me that Michelle Hammond's book basically says don't make lists because a lot of time we limit ourselves, and that most women have such influence over their man that what they have is different from what they originally had. For example, men who say they didn't have things together, etc., before they met the wifey.

Now I feel that to a certain extent. I like how Wellington Boone calls women kingmakers. But on the other end of the scale, I've heard time and time again that women who think they can change a man are deceived. And then, a lot Pastors talk about only marrying this whole, complete person, as if they should already have it together before you meet them.

I think there's a balance to everything. There are certain things a brotha should have together beforehand, but I don't think we should be closed to helping them out with other things. I know that sounds very vague, but I haven't yet pinpointed all of the must haves versus the will-haves by the time I'm done with him.