DE REEL DEEL

what's going on

2011-11-14T04:07:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted in forever....
SO much going on right now. For one, I can't believe I've been married over a year, and now almost 16 weeks pregnant. My hub is a man of God.

And then I've been reflecting on my life....and why God has shown me soo much favor. I've made big bad mistakes just like other people, yet I still know that His grace and favor are on my life. ANd what makes it even more pressure-free is that I know I didn't earn it or deserve it, but He just gives it to me as a gift.

And then I think, Lord why me when there are so many women out there who can't get pregnant? What about all those women who miscarry? It's truly humbling, and I ran across some scriptures about the Lord blessing us in our mother's wombs, and reminding us to cast our cares upon Him. It gives me such peace. SO much that I can't even let myself dwell on negative thoughts. I don't know why things happen to other people. All I can do is believe that the Lord's blessing is continually upon my family, and thank Him for it.

Anywho, I'm ready to pick the guitar back up.

workplace haters

2009-11-20T11:39:00.002-05:00

Is it arrogant to assume one has "haters" at work? I don't think so. In fact, I'm sure that almost everyone who is experiencing some form of success in life has at least one hater. At my office, there's probably NO ONE who I haven't heard get talked about at least once. But, some of the main people are the culprits behind multiple coworkers gossip.
And then, some women get jealous so easy over the superficial. I wonder if men do to? Why is it that people don't just appreciate one another's inward and outward differences, respect it, and be professional about it?
I wonder if I am also guilty of doing this to others--judging them when they are something I wish they weren't.
The thing to remember--everyone gets talked about, what goes around comes around. People will talk about you whether you do good or whether you do bad, so you might as well make it good gossip that they're saying and not bad gossip.
I'm not sure what I do to make people talk about me. But, I do think when you are confident in yourself, your abilities, your God, your appearance, some get threatened, and it makes you a target. When you lack confidence, people like you, and want to be your friend...misery lovers company. Sad world.

stubble

2009-09-19T01:16:00.002-04:00

I have a good man. He is fun to be around. I love it when we spend Friday night together. I love it when he puts on the sexy cologne. I enjoy his bright smile. I enjoy when he puts his arm around me in church, or when he wants to hold my hand in the mall.

It's kinda weird when people are in a relationship with an opposite.

My coworker said her husband likes to go out ALL the time and she likes to chill at home, and go out every now and then. They find each other at odds because of this. On the other hand, I like to get out (not club get out) but leave the house, jog in the park, see a garden, go swimming, biking, roller blading, go to the library, visit friends and family, see a museum or the zoo. My pookie, however, does not often seem like he's in the mood for these things. I think he'd almost always rather stay in and read or watch a movie. Sometimes the difference can be frustrating...because when someone is your best friend, you naturally want to share your favorite activities with that person. But if they are reluctant to do so, you don't want them to feel like you are trying to change them.

SO where does that leave the typical "opposite's attract" type of couple? Should we intentionally try to find people who like the exact same things as us, or should we accept the differences of our significant other, and accept a life of experiencing things on your own?

I guess you just gotta follow your heart, and follow God. I suppose you can get your other female or guy friends to do the things your besty doesn't want to do.

struggles

2009-09-07T10:02:00.002-04:00

one of my goals today is to learn as much as possible about the healthcare debate. since I don't know much yet, I see on tv and the internet (what the mainstream media giants want to disclose) that one group seems to one healthcare for everyone and one group doesn't. That sentence probably does not sum things up in their entirety. However,

I am fortunate, blessed, thankful to have healthcare through my employment. But, I feel for those who don't have employment (by no choice of their own) and thus can't afford healthcare. The unemployment rate is disproportionately high among african-americans, so they are more likely to be impacted by the lack of changes in our healthcare system. I know many black men and women that are well-qualified for numerous corporate positions, but have never been given the opportunity to shine in the corporate arena.

I am fortunate to have a job that I love, but I feel for the people that can't enjoy the same. I don't make a lot of money or anything, but there's still a sense of self-worth knowing that I can provide for myself, pay bills, and still save a little money for later in life.

I think it's an ungodly perspective to rally to protect "you and your own," "us four no more," to seek to maintain a privileged lifestyle with no regard for others. At the same time, people who have worked hard for their money and their belongings deserve to keep them...besides, "you reap what you sow." And if one has sown hard work and sacrifice, they should certainly reap the rewards of such choices.

I do wish that all races, sexes, ages considered the good of all when voting, and making political decisions.

life goes fast

2009-07-01T22:44:00.002-04:00

I haven't hit 30 and yet I realize this. People in their 40s think people in their 20s don't get it. I think most of us get it, though some don't. Michael Jackson died almost a week ago, and it drove the message home for some.

Deaths do make you reflect on lives...make you wonder, what should I accomplish before I leave. So many people have day to day struggles, check to check struggles, so caught up in the hussle and bussle of Monday thru Friday that they miss the big picture.

The big picture is that God created us...profound, though redundant. We're here because God put us here. Our purpose is in him and for him.

Alexander Graham Bell--created the telephone. But his invention brought glory upon himself. Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity, which eventually benefit all of mankind. Yet, his discovery brought glory upon himself. We bring glory to God, are a reflection of his beauty, his thoughtfulness, his creativity, in our everyday lives.

It makes me not worry about tomorrow, about money, about cars. It makes me want to be fabulous, to have fun, to have unwaivering faith so that no circumstance can move me.

PSYCHO "b"

2009-01-30T00:38:00.002-05:00

It's amazing what some women will do to get or keep a man. I remember in the 7th grade I had a crush on this chocolate saxophone player. His name was Jameel or Jamel or something or other. I had to get his attention....so I sent him quarters and lollipops....Quarters and lollipops. What the hell was I thinking? My friend Shenae said, "girl, you better quit giving him that stuff or he's gonna think ur desperate or something." Now what 7th grader thinks of things like that?

Fortunately, I have not given away any lollipops in my adult life, and still have a wonderful, mighty, awesome, sexy man.
But, what should you do if you really really really want somebody and you're afraid they don't even know that you exist? I say, if you have regular run ins with someone, and you keep yourself nice looking, that person knows you exist. Small talk about sports and weather is always nice. I wouldn't offer to buy a man a drink or take him to dinner, but a guy could do it. Or, maybe you should just pray that the lord sends someone along whose attention you don't hae to figure out how to get.
I don't know....kinda glad to be out of the dating game. If lollipops and quarters don't get it, I'm at a loss.....and dude never holla'd either. Didn't even use all those quarters to get me a soda from the lunchroom...didn't pick me a dandelion from outside....didn't get me a blowpop or anything.....BUMP YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Reflections

2008-12-15T00:27:00.002-05:00

Why was I bad as a kid? Well, it didn't really happen until those tween years. I think peer pressure was to blame. I wanted to create a reputation for myself I guess....who knows. I just remember:

7th grade was the first time I was suspended from school...suspended for fighting Tammy. Funny, we hung out a couple months back. I got sentenced to in school suspension a few times--throwing food at lunch, skipping class; running from security guards, mouthing off, the list goes on.
8th grade I was suspended for helping a few other girls pull Deandre's pants down. I really don't remember my roll in that, but I thought I just held one of his hands......who knows.
9th grade I was suspended twice....I think both were due to "insubordination".....which happened to be the only word in the principal's vocabulary. ooh, low blow. I probably didn't break any school rules that year, at least none that anyone saw. They just didn't like the fact that I often chose my own way of doing things instead of the teachers who were sent to guide me.

They probably should have just given me better, smarter teachers that 9th grade year, who could have challenged me, and I probably wouldn't have had so much to say.

And then of course, were the times I found myself in trouble with the coach.....only because teachers are tattletales. Interested that it got to the point where they told my coach instead of my mother....probably a smart choice.

How many times have I been in a principal's office? I can't count. Why did the principals and security guards all know who I was? no idea...I wasn't a threat to academia; only to those who had trouble concentrating when an intentional distraction was made. I didn't smoke weed, or sell it; didn't have sex; didn't bring a gun to school....I remember on the last day of the 9th grade school year, the principal had me come sit in her classroom for the last hour of the day, only to make sure I didn't get into any trouble.

So back to the reason behind it all....I still don't know. Maybe it was a cry for attention; maybe my flesh really is an all out rebel, moreso than I ever thought. Possibly, I wasn't academically challenged, my mind was malnourished, and I had to create my own secondary learning experience. Sometimes it was fun; sometimes it was scary. If at the time the principal's could've beat my tail they probably would have, and likely would have enjoyed it exceedingly.

The important thing is I've grown up and changed, and the Lord helped me do that.

a death

2008-11-28T21:21:00.002-05:00

No....nobody died. But, it's my 28th birthday, and I keep thinking about how in two more years my 20s will be dead. Absolutely gone....forever. It's kinda sad that oftentimes the decisions you make in your twenties is what shapes your life. I mean, people decide in their twenties what to major in at college, or whether they should even go to college, and also they decide a career. People in their twenties decide who they will marry; or sometimes who they'll have sex with, which could result in an unwanted pregnancy, or an unwanted marriage for that matter.

Some people in their twenties commit crimes, sometimes heinous crimes, only to spend 30-40 years behind bars. Then they look back and think on how stupid they were. It is hard to make such difficult decisions and be sooo young.
30 should be the new 20, because at least at 30 you know a little bit more about life, and are possibly more likely to make rational, intelligent decisions. us 20 somethings are lusty, selfish, irrational, emotional....way too much going on to decide what the rest of my life will entail.
All I can say is: Lord guide me.....at least until I hit 30. I guess then I'll probably need you even more, just for different types of problems. sigh

What is sin

2008-09-10T09:20:00.002-04:00

So, when God says don't do something, does that also mean don't do anything that could lead to the something as well?
For example, be not drunk on wine....does that also mean do not drink wine at all, which can lead to drunkenness?
Or, flee fornication....does that also mean we should not kiss, rub, have oral sex?

My question is, where do most Christians draw the boundary lines? Well, in the sexual arena, we know that lust is a sin. Therefore, I would think that any activity which causes or perpetuates lust is a sin. So.....that would probably include a lot of things, depending on you as a person: maybe its kissing, or watching adult films, masturbation, oral sex, heavy petting....I can't imagine some of these things being possible without some form of lusting.

But is it wrong to drink? Is it wrong to smoke? What if you aren't addicted to any of these things?

Are some sins worse than others? Is having sex worse than thinking about sex? What about that scripture where Jesus says when you LOOK upon a woman with lust you have committed the act in your heart. It seemed as though it was just as bad to think about it as to do it...

Is it bad to think about sex with someone you are not married to? Is it better to masturbate to keep from cheating on your wife than to actually sleep with the woman you think about? Probably not, if you look at the scripture.

i lke exploring this topic....

food

2008-09-01T15:55:00.002-04:00

if i didnt run so much.....i'd be a tub of lard. I love food way too much. My food weaknesses:

(1) oke doke hot cheese popcorn, (2) popcorn in general, (3) pastas, (4) cheeses.....crap, all carbs. then, i love chocolate. chocolate with nuts is the best: almonds, walnuts, pecans, cashews....yum yum yum. cheesecake, cheesecake brownies, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, oreo cookie ice cream, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, strawberry shortcake. i just dont know what its so hard to resist these things.
anywho, i feel like im coming down with something, so i certainly wont be having any of these foods today.
My men weaknesses: my boo boo. But before my boo boo, I nice chocolate brother with smooth skin and a nice smile always made me weak. OW!!!!

i dont feel good

just venting

2008-08-27T21:26:00.002-04:00

Nothing on my mind today....

Sometimes in life things don't go the way you want them to. ... How are we supposed to respond when that happens? Well, you can take it as a temporary setback, but use it to motivate you to reach where you want to be.....

or, you can say that God didn't want it to happen....or you can sulk. I don't even know which option is the best. i think I usually look for a plan B when plan A doesn't happen.

I think I'm looking forward to being a wife. I'm ready ( I think) to constantly share of myself with someone....NOT SEXUALLY, though that's a part of it. I'm talking more of sharing my time, my emotions, my conversation, my efforts, my money.....I like the thought of cooking for my husband, decorating a home, folding laundry....loading the dishwasher....seems kind of fun right now. I may change my mind when I get married; who knows.
Also, though....that feeling that at least 2 people always have your back no matter what: God and your spouse. That has to be a good feeling. I bet some married people don't even feel like their spouse has their back though; they probably feel like them and their spouse are against each other....Must be a tormenting feeling.

I fear that I'll fall short as a wife: that I'll get too fat, or lazy, or too preoccupied or something. I don't know what other areas I'll fall short in. I wish I was perfect....

life update

2008-08-20T01:04:00.003-04:00

I just came from the cardinals game with my boss, his family, and coworkers. I love my colleagues. I must say, ever since I left Steak n Shake back in 2000, and the Gap in 2005, I've had the best coworkers ever. They are a lot of fun, and I think I prefer hanging with everyone outside the office than inside. It's a more relaxed atmosphere.
I do wonder....why are African-Americans still underrepresented on THIS side of the legal field. There's plenty of us in the jails; but not nearly enough of us filling the courtrooms, the lawschools, the bar meetings. It's disheartening.

A lot of people have been asking about my boo boo lately....long distance sucks. I think a long distance relationship in some ways takes more work, but in some ways it is less work. Less work because I guess you're not really expected to spend time together, like in person....but more work because you have to create unique ways to interact over the phone/internet so you dont get bored. So far, I can't say that I've been bored with my relationship. Every moment has been filled with excitement. Thanks to my boo boo for creating the infamous "phone movie date." We've done phone church services...the only thing we haven't done is phone sex...but I think we gotta be married for that.

Life

2008-07-24T00:35:00.003-04:00

So today I said goodbye to Jeffery Hill, a friend since I was 12 years old. We met in Junior High and clicked ever since. I hadn't seen him in a while. But, even when months went by without seeing him I often thought about him. This was the case with a lot of my highschool friends, particularly some of the guys. I was always concerned and hopeful that the men close to me would never become statistics, that they would excel.

Jeff was a smart cookie. Jessica showed me this OLD picture of Jeff and I in junior high or high school playing chess against each other. (I probably won) But as he grew older he still played. I would see him at the loop all the time playing chess. He was such a comfort during the days and nights when I was studying for the bar. He became a wonderful player. He was a highly intelligent, strategic, and witty thinker and chess player. He impressed many people. He was always in honors classes in school...he did ROTC, Explorers, and Compact Team. I know that Jessica, Christian, and I will always remember the days seeing Jeff at Camp Miniwanca. This is someone who should have never become a statistic. Sometimes what you have on the inside doesn't matter if it doesn't get nourished.

Just like Jesus talked about sowing seed on good soil and it will spring up and produce a harvest. If you sow a sad and bad soil, the crop will wither away and die. Jeffery Hill was too good for his surroundings, for his environment. At minimum, his unrealized potential would have led him to places unfathomable. That's why it's hard: He was generous, smart, charismatic....a true gentleman. He wasn't callous, hard, stupid, unlearned, unexposed.....none of those things. He took college level classes in highschool.

So, on the outside it seems like another black man lost in the streets. But, Jeff was more than just another black man. Completely special. My heart hurts as I type this entry. I'm now trading my sorrows for the joy of the Lord, and rejoicing in the fact that Jeffery Hill is looking at Jesus face to face....feeling much better than I am right now. Bless his soul.

Reverential Respect

2008-05-30T19:43:00.003-04:00

I noticed in life......

The more experience you have with certain things and people, the more you tend to respect them. I read the Bible, and see countless miracles of God, and his creation the earth, and I can't help but to respect Him for who he is. And then nature: earthquakes, tornadoes, cyclones, hurricanes, floods......I respect nature, as well as God, the creator of natural things.
And then there's COMMITMENT. ah. Now this is an entity to be respected. IT is lack of commitment in some marriages that have driven spouses to kill. Or lack of commitment that caused hearts to be ripped in pieces.

Commitment means to choose to stick with someone or something regardless of the circumstances....whether its pretty or ugly, smells good or bad, happy or sad, healthy or sick, rich or poor, nice or mean, joyful or angry....no matter what. It means when you wake up next to your wife and her breath smells, or your husband has really bad diarrhea, or you firstborn has puked all over your brand new suit....it means to still treat them like the loving family member they are.

It means when your husband loses his job to not leave him for a rich man....or if your girlfriend has ugly legs, to not break up with her....or if you and your spouse have argued everyday for an entire year, to not give up on your marriage..... no matter what.

IT's when your life seems to be having some sticky, rocky times, or the world seems more and more evil, and the times seem more and more scary, to trust God, at His word, no matter what.

It means more than I can describe in this online entry.....ANd for one to say that they will commit themselves to another human being forever, until the end of life, no matter what.....no matter what.....it's big. It's deep.

marathon training

2008-02-17T20:52:00.002-05:00

marathon training is pretty rough. Today I went 6 miles. I think I've only done that once before, so I am pretty excited about it. It was kinda hard because my shoulder started hurting around mile 2. This personal trainer guy was at the gym talking to me and he told me God Bless you when I left. I thought it was cool. I realize I have to be more cautious about my opposite sex interaction now that I have a bf.

Dr. Don Colbert came to speak at our church today. He discussed stress management and the joy of the Lord. It was really good. I'm kinda down because I dont know if i will be ablet o go back to school in the fall. I waited late to get my application in....sucks. Oh well. I'm thinking about going to community college and getting some sort of personal fitness certification in the meantime. That might be kinda fun. I'm also thinking about trying out for the Rams cheerleaders, but I can't do any splits or tumbling or anything.

What's a girl to when she has spare time after her work at the Prosecutor's office?

love and maturity

2008-02-11T22:31:00.000-05:00

I was so immature in college...and highschool....just all the way up until life hit. I had no direction, no goals, no people skills. I was sociable....I liked going out. But I was rude to people. Didn't know how to empathize with the pain of others. It sucks. I wish I could go back. I remember a friend whose mother died while we were in college. I wish I could go back and do more for her. Pray for her or offer her a shoulder to lean or cry on or some flowers or something.
Sometimes its so easy in this world to get caught up in yourself. It's frustrating. I think relationships bring out the best and the worst in people. The best because your S.O. (significant other) reminds you and rewards you when you are good to them. But the worst, because sometimes your shortcomings, personality flaws, ideosyncracies ( did I spell that right?) can hurt the people closest to you.

But, I love being in a relationship. It's the ultimate challenge to please another person without completely losing yourself. And its a challenge to love another person constantly, during good and bad times. Its the ultimate challenge, the now most people don't conquer.

life update

2008-02-10T23:51:00.000-05:00

transitions can be tough......I'm going from one side to the other in the criminal world. Sometimes I wonder which side is the true dark side. I suppose I will soon see.
I'm grateful to the Lord for a new job, a new church, and and a new man. The Lord is good

The perfect Thanksgiving feast

2006-11-20T15:17:00.000-05:00

ahhh, the favorite holiday among the african american community is upon us.....however, it's the day that people scoff at the vegetarians....i'm not cooking this year, but I think next year i will prepare the perfect vegetarian feast. Consisting of the following:

(1) tofurkey

(2) green beans

(3) spinach

(4) mac and cheese

(5) dressing/tofurkey stuffing

(6) grilled veggie stir fry

(7) fried taters w/ celery and more green stuff

(8) corn

(9) rolls

(10) corn bread

(11) greens

(12) plenty of desserts

so, everyone is invited to my 2007 thanksgivng veggie feast! Oohh, i can't wait

UPSET!

2006-11-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, Upset that I went to the Chinese store to find some $1.99 costume jewelry, and there was a huge sign in the entryway:
SALE
GRILLZ= 2 for $9.99

Why is the Chinese store selling our people fake Grillz, or grillz period for that matter. THey are freakin HIDEOUS!!! AHHHH, IM SO TIRED OF BLACK MEN RUNNING AROUND TRYING TO LOOK LIKE AND ACT LIKE THUGS AND THEN GET MAD WHEN THEY GET BUSTED BY THE POLICE AND THEN COME TO MY OFFICE AND WANT SOMEONE TO GET THEM OFF NOW AND TRUST THEM TO PAY LATER.

Just had to get that off my chest. Im going to a ball this weekend, and I'm very excited. Though my dress has to sheer openings on the side, and I'm not sure if its showing too much.

H 2 OOOOOOO AAAHHHHHH

2006-11-07T01:18:00.000-05:00

I love water! I mean, I've swam in lakes, and oceans....waded in rivers, and of course done all kinds of junk in swimming pools. I'm always fascinated by fountains, and boats, and lakes. I absolutely love the beach. I could get married on the beach. And, I love hot tubs, and long bubble baths....but, nothing is as relaxing as the water I'm in when i Wash my HAIR!!!
Oooh, it feels soo good, just like that Herbal Essence commercial, except I try not to moan in the shower. But seriously, the water from the shower massages and warms my scalp and I just feel all warm wet and tingly all over! It almost makes me wanna get braids back or something so I can wash my hair everyday. Thank God for hair-washing!!!!

who do you trust?

2006-10-26T20:28:00.000-04:00

I don't trust the following people:

(1) lawyers (especially)

(2) doctors

(3) professional athletes

(4) men who play with dolls

(5) people who eat chicken liver

(6) pastors who say ur going to hell if you don't pay tithes

(7) men with no job and a nice car

(8) did I say lawyers? (except for me, of course)

(9) heart surgeons

(10) TRUSTees

(11) children under 6

(12) girls between the ages of 14-18

(13) preachers that do late night bible studies with the opposite sex

(14) retired marine officers

(15) anyone that has come home from iraq

(16) men that make promises that cost more than $50.00

everyone else is cool

strange night's sleep

2006-10-18T11:00:00.000-04:00

I have always been a weird dreamer, and I've always had dreams that I remember for weeks on end. I'll never forget the time I was dreaming of my contracts professor, the night before the big exam....It wasn't a sexual dream, it just bothered me that he was there.
But then I remember the time when I woke up in the middle of the night to find something crawling in my underwear--my roommate and I had left the dorm room window open, and we didn't have a screen. It was dark, but when I pulled it out I'm pretty sure it flew away.
Then last night I wake up to the sound of a mosquito in my ear....I took one swat at it, then rose up and turned the lights, to find the thing struggling for life in my bed...UGHHH. I smashed him and threw him away, only to find that the damage had already been done. He had bitten me on my arm, my hand, and just under my lip.

I could have chewed on a mosquito in my sleep--I wonder what I would have dreamt of then...

On Cloud 7

2006-10-12T20:09:00.001-04:00

I can't say today is a cloud 9 day....I don't feel floaty and soo great that I'm out of touch with reality. Seven is much more appropriate as a label for my cloud.....I got sworn in today, at the Missouri Supreme Court. So now, I can practice law--give legal advice, make court appearances--all that stuff. But, I don't know enough to do all that yet. So, I still felt the same after the ceremony was over: like I needed a job.
Even so, it's still cool to be legit now. And then I cooked this slammin veggie meal today--some cheddar broccoli and rice, some taters with carrots and onions in the oven with the proper seasonings....ahhh, sometimes I really throw down on some veggies!

REE--ZULTS

2006-09-25T00:03:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I was thinking today of that old saying, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game." Now, is that really practical, or is it bologna. My friend's bar results come out tomorrow. I know she's going to pass. But if someone failed, are they to tell their employer, "Well, I failed the test, but my preparation skills were stellar. Man, you should have seen me study!" Yeah right, it's all about the end result.

So right now I can only think of one scenario where the way you play the game is important, and that's just life in general. One day we'll be held accountable for our actions. ANy other time, I say bump the m.o. and just win! We win!

Anywho, I hate thinking about the bar thing, but there comes a time in life when you say you trust God, and you just actually have to do it. I've reached that place. I'm not spooky or nothing, but I know it was God's grace and favor and help that allowed me to get through lawschool and still keep my gpa high enough to maintain my scholarship. I spent more hours in the library than anyone, and was still clueless. Yet, when test time came, somehow I was always ready. I've never failed a test in my life, and I refuse to start now! Aint that right...

Da hicks, sticks, and docks.....

2006-09-13T15:27:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I realized today more than ever.....I'M A CITY GIRL!!!! And nothing is going to change that, I don't think. I live in St. Louis city now, and I'm more comfortable with the drug dealers in my neighbor's front yard than I am with three men in a truck with a large confederate flag emblazened upon the rear window. I'd rather encounter the bloods than the KKK.

I interviewed for a position in a county in rural MO that the world doesn't know exists. The court building was smaller than my house...and I saw the same number of black people that are probably on the moon right now...I sat and answered questions intelligently, as I wondered if the head prosecutor's nightlife included burning crosses on front lawns.

But...I had a good time....and the people I did meet were very very nice. But, I must admit that I was not operating in the highest level of comfort that life has to offer. I wasn't afraid, or sad.....just felt a little out of place. I was so happy to arrive on Enright today.....no place like home.

U SEXY!!!!

2006-09-12T01:15:00.000-04:00

hmmm. That's fine, but next time, could you not inform me of that while we're on the church steps? Or, maybe next time could you not hang ALL the way out your boy's window while he's driving 5 mph down Enright Ave. anywho....

The ankle syndrome.....it's gotten my grandmother. I didn't realize that she had lost her ankles too. That must mean its in the Bull bloodline--no ankles after 70....though I'm not sure at what granny lost her ankles. I would ask, but I'd rather not be assaulted by the elderly.

I have some interviews coming up...kind of exciting....but I really want to dig into a good book....and I also want to learn to speak Spanish fluently, and I want to get licensed to carry a concealed weapon. Just some of my current life goals, in addition to unlocking the ankle mystery, and seeing if I can get married, barefoot, and pregnant, before being dragged into the workforce until retirement.

Holy Summertime

2006-08-28T16:48:00.000-04:00

Confessions:

THis summer has been very different. As far as the weather, it's been a while since I've been exposed to heat like this. Michigan summers usually aren't nearly as hot as St. Louis summers. So....the hard part has been figuring out what to put on to go outdoors, and I don't know how good a job I'm doing.

It really is hard sometimes to dress for the weather and still not look like I don't serve Jesus. Maybe next year I'll start some sort of clothing line, for Holy Girls Gone Wild. oh well

People watching

2006-08-24T17:00:00.000-04:00

I realized that I can people watch for long periods of time and be thoroughly entertained. It can get you in trouble sometimes though. Some guy make thing you're "making eyes" at him, when he's really just being people watched. i don't know if it's because I'm nosy, or curious, or just bored. Either way, it's fun. Now, I must confessed, sometimes I have to repent as I people watch. Have you ever seen an extremely large woman come into a restaurant and order like a world of food? You catch things like this as you people watch, and have to keep your brain from thinking things like, "Maybe she shouldnt be here..." Who knows where I shouldn't be that I continue to go to, like the shopping mall, so I can't come down on her.

In other news, I'm coming closer to my target weight which is 138 lbs. I'm now at 142, and I think I like it. I will need a gym membership soon though, because we probably only have another month or so of morning jogging weather. It's back to school time, and I'm not back to school--that feels good!

DE leetle things

2006-08-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

It still feels strange to be back in the city where I grew up. Things are starting to get a little more comfortable. In the evenings, I've been going to the Bread Co. to surf the net. Now, everyday at the bread company there's a group of men, of all ages, races, beliefs, etc. etc., who unite to play chess in the corner. Usually there's like 5 or 6 games going on at once. There's never any chics. Well, this week, I changed the demographics. I became a "regular." You become a regular when the players know your name, and some begin to respect your game. Thus far, my overall record is about 10-4. I'm not doing bad, but I could be better. I gotta work on my game.
Other than that, I also commenced my job search. I'm starting to think that the benefits of having a job--having food, water, shelter, clothing--are somewhat overrated in comparison to the free time you enjoy during unemployment. Who wants to clock in for the man everyday?

I think I need a hustle.

simple status update

2006-08-07T18:54:00.000-04:00

It shouldn't be that the older you get, the more confused you become about life. I thought things got better at 25. It's supposed to be that perfect age, where everything comes together, and you know all the answers to any life problem that could present itself. In fact, there's only one thing I'm clear on; man = ego. women = play doh. I think us ladies adjust way too often. And, I also think that due to 25 years of unnecessary adjustments, I've become stubborn. I never thought it would happen to me....but I think it has.
anywho, I saw another old lady with no ankles yesterday. It was so cute---her legs looked like little pegs that had been jammed into a shoe.
there's a bunch of men that sit around the bread company daily playing chess. I never see any woman, so i felt the need to become involved. I played a few games a few weeks ago. i beat one guy, this one old russian man tore me to pieces, but he lectured me on the game in his thick russian accent as he beat my tail. i should've been more appreciative.

An Autobiographical Account

2006-07-12T19:49:00.000-04:00

I don’t usually do these, because they expose how stupid I can be

It’s my freshman year in college, my first week on the campus of Kentucky State University, and HBCU. I’m 18, freshly broken up with my high school sweet heart, and ready to experience whatever college life has to offer. Tweety and I had just unloaded the car into a dorm room, which I later found to be the wrong one. And, since Tweety was across town, I had to put my stuff back into the car by myself. Laboring to carry my E machine box to the car, I received an offer to help by a young man I will call Bailey, an encounter that would chang my college life. I accepted Bailey’s offer to help, and soon all of my things were back in the car. I thanked him and went away.
To my surprise, I ran into Bailey at a party the next evening. Bailiey was from a Northern city, in which they did a dance, I think called a “git” or something, of which I was quite unfamiliar. However, being a young woman of artistic appreciation, I was very impressed by Mr. Bailey’s moves. By the end of the night, I was slow dancing in his arms to Dru Hill. That night, he asked me for my number, and asked me to go out with him. That Friday, we went out (classes had not even started yet, and I was manifestly over the ex!)

That night, I put on an outfit my friend Jasmine had just given to me. It consisted of an off white mini with a matching top, and some brown sandals. Back then, my legs were a hot commodity—4 years of basketball, 1 of volleyball, 2 weeks of track, and a lot of walking had done me well.

I approached Mr. Bailey’s small ghetto car, and offered to drive. I don’t remember which of us drove. But I do know we went out to eat. That night, over dinner, we poured our life stories, and our hearts, out to one another. We found we had many commonalities, and that we had actually encountered one another a few years back at a church function in Louisville. He told me his life story, his abuses, his fears. We laughed we cried, and we kissed in the car….for a very long time. It was my first college kiss, and it was grand! We had each found the one, and it only took a couple of hours. After the kiss, Bailey expressed his undying love for me, and I began to shed a cry…..

All this in a 3 day period. A week later I was involved with another northerner.

Veggeeez 4 thought

2006-07-06T16:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, if you have a friend that's studying for the bar exam (ahem), it may not be a good time to tell them about all the other friends you have that have failed. Yeah....um....that might not be a good idea. Even though, there's just not enough pressure as it is on these bar examinees, you just may not want to do it.

Oh yeah, and if you've just asked your child for the 5th time in 2 minutes if they want a spanking, I think they know by now that they're not going to get one. So you probably shouldn't waste your breath with the threat of such. Let see what else....

Oh yeah, if you're a construction worker/engineer/plumber/any repairman, and you bend over a lot, you may want to invest in some good overalls. That way, all cracks are covered when engaging in the heavy duty. Wal-Mart has good ones, as well as K-Mart.

I think that's enough veggiez for now...

I honked at a funeral procession

2006-07-03T16:43:00.000-04:00

Not on purpose...I mean, I didn't even know it was a funeral until this lady informed me, in between cussing me out. I was pissed, and couldn't understand why all these black folks were running a red light on my green.

Anywhose, I have a new favorite show. Now, a good question is when am I finding time to watch tv? Well, usually around 11:00pm each night I end up back home, just in time for Bernie Mac, and I treat myself to an episode after a long day of slaving over the man's laws. The show is hilarious....it's so not politically correct. However, it has some good, fun humor, and nice themes, complete with happy endings, or at least funny ones. The man is hilarious.

Life's been

2006-07-01T23:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, so this bar thing is really outta control! It makes me wanna cuss! I just might! Well, maybe not.
Anywho, wild things this week--two people from highschool passed in a 7 day period, and my 3yr old baby cousin is in the hospital from heart surgery. Bless her darling heart...she's the cutest thing, and the whole fam's praying her out of ICU. However, nothing gets a 3 yr old's mind off of chest pain like a Dora he Explorer toy you throw at the wall and watch it walk down....way cool.

As for me, I decided to work on my...blatantness. Certain aspects of my career require it. Even though I kinda wanna get barefoot and pregnant first, the whole husband thingy takes a while, so I decided to put that on hold. I'm searching for the balance between being upfront with people and still spare their precious feelings. I can't be a sappy lawyer!!!

ANKLES

2006-06-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

This really isn't meant to be funny.....Why don't old people have ankles? I don't understand it...do they fade with time? Will I also lack ankles one day? Being scientifically challenged, I just wonder if there's some explanation of which I'm unaware.

Anywho, I ran into one of my old buddies today in the part of town called "the loop." Now, I've known this cat since we were 12, and I've always known a lot about him. He's very intelligent, and articulate, a hood cat, but I don't think he was ever pushed to maximize his potential. Unfortunate, because I really feel there is soo much he could do. He plays chess down at Panera Bread with a group of old guys. I personally was gonna sit down at the table and play but I hate embarrassing men.

But, seeing him made me think about a lot of people. Nothing bothers me more than unused potential. UGh!!! Especially among talented black men...

I think I'm going to start an ankle stretching routine, just to make sure my ankles stay firm and tone....

Soccer....old people...and other randoms

2006-06-13T00:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I watched the last 10 minutes of the US world cup soccer game today. TO my surprise there were quite a few brothers on the team. Now, I know that the best soccer players in the world have skin color like mine. However, a lot of black Americans seem to shy away from soccer, for some reason. Either way, one of the players even resembled an Eastside Detroiter, complete with the braids and platinum grill! (okay, he didn't have a platinum grill) It was pretty interesting though. I like soccer players.....enough said.

For the fourth time in about 10 days, a man in his mid life crisis asked me for my phone number. I used 15 minutes to explain to him why we were in different walks of life. He told me that the guys my age don't know how to treat a woman, and I should try someone older. I think I'll take my chances....especially if I had to settle for a man that made me feel like I was out with my father...EW!!!! I can't imagine getting my first...um...in depth kiss in years from ....a father figure. How disgusting! Anywho, I also told the man my family wouldn't approve, and he said that his age would be our little secret. He was persistent, but I was equally resistant. I had J.Neal in mind, who says the male needs a stroking of the ego. I just couldn't find it within myself to stroke this one....it was too gross. Sorry JN. I hope I haven't let you down.

gold.diggin

2006-06-10T23:02:00.000-04:00

What exactly is a golddigger anyway? I don't know a woman in the world who wouldn't mind being taken care of. At the same time, a lot of the fellas that have nice cars and such want females to know about it. They feel like it adds to their worth. So, maybe the women are wrong for looking for money bags, and the men are wrong for flossing it.

Either way, I was thinking today about my social pool, and how most of the male blacks with whom I have acquainted or befriended are definitely en route to success. Some have already attained--prosperous doctors, NFL athletes, lawyers, lawyers to be... And they're single! So, I'm like, how in the world will they find the wifey without suspecting her of being a golddigger first? Prenups seem to be the only answer. However, if they meet a babe like me, they'll have a tough time, cuz I refuse to sign a prenup. That way, if he acts up on me....CLEANERS!!!! That's why I don't tell people my interest is family law.

Anywho...studying for the bar has not been fun. I feel like I haven't been on the phone since before graduation. The only people I've seen is my family, and church folk. I feel like I don't have a life. I've met sooo many people (in starbucks and panera bread) at some of my study spots, and know when I meet them there's no way I can hang out, but that's a whole 'nother show.

Regardless, hell will be over about 8 weeks from now!

church singles meetings

2006-05-26T22:47:00.000-04:00

Oh boy...
I went to Bible study tonight at a local church. afterwards this lady told me there was a singles meeting down the hall. so, i went, and they were watching a video, and thad food...and there were like 50 old women and 10 old men and one thugged out young man. Now, I kinda don't like singles meetings because people assume that you are "looking." Unfortunately, I cannot "look" or "be looked at" until this bar exam is over.

anywho, the one, thugged out (looking) brotha followed me out of the church when I left. He had been watching me the entire time I was watching the video. (We were probably the youngest individuals in the room) I was slightly ahead of the crowd. (oh boy) Andhe started asking me questions about it being my first time there and such. I just wanted to go home without giving or refusing to give my telephone number. So I walked very fast as we talked and as soon as there was a break in the convo said holla back.

Now, for those that think I'm judgmental, let me correct myself by saying dude may or may not have been some sort of thug type. I was only referring to his physical appearance, that's all. I don't know him from Adam....and thank God for that.

With regard to singleness, I think I'm starting to "feel" "ripe" for some action. I dont' exactly know what action means, but I'm starting to feel like I'm in puberty all over again. I'm noticing, and thinking about people, and things, that I didn't before. I figure it could mean one of two things. 1) My season for a relationship is approaching, and I can stop hiding, or 2) I'm definitely and completely over the ex as well as what he did. I guess it could be a combination of the two. Either way, it's kind of exciting.

diversity

2006-05-15T20:30:00.000-04:00

I was happy to see the name Keisha in one of my bar review books. I don't know any non-african-americans named Keisha.

Regardless, the lady, aba president, who gave our graduation speech was bragging about our school's commitment to and reflection of diversity. I'm thinking that the lights were so bright she couldn't see the audience. IN particular, she couldn't see the graduating class. Diversity? At my school? HA People deceive themselves....it's the easy way out I suppose. However, my school just started some diversity chair position or something like that.

Every little bit helps

Jittersnmush

2006-05-12T13:07:00.000-04:00

God is good. I know you know that already, but he's really faithful. I'm in a very jittery/mushy mood. Those don't combine well together.

I graduate in 2 days. I don't feel excited, but I do feel blessed. God has blessed me. I had a full ride for undergrad, and a full tuition scholarship for lawschool. My family has gone through hell and back without me since I've been gone, yet none of us have lost our minds, or our faith. Most of my friends, family, associates, roomate, church people, have been more than supportive.

It's been a long, rough, road. It has not been easy. Not necessarily the academic side.....just, life in general. I'm looking forward to the next season.

Regardless, God has been faithful. Today's issue: I gotta find some shoes to match my dress!!

10 signs your date is a keeper...

2006-05-01T16:25:00.000-04:00

I thought this was interesting, with no emphasis on physical traits:

1. Is your date kind, respectful and appropriately generous to waiters/waitresses, bus drivers, sales clerks, etc?

2. Has your sweetie confessed to any immoral behavior: Cheating, stealing, lying, inappropriate aggression? If so, how much reflection on this and desire to change has this person shown since then?

3. Does the person you’re dating have any addictions: Drinking, gambling, shopping? Does he or she want to change—and is he or she working to make change happen?

4. Does your honey have a lot of lasting friendships—or hardly any?

5. Does your date always tell stories about bad dynamics he or she experiences with other people? Or does he or she seem to get along easily, even swimmingly, with others?

6. Does your sweetie comment on news stories with a sense of empathy and awareness, or is he or she low on expressing compassion for all that is going on in this world?

7. Have you witnessed your date doing small acts of kindness (leaving a very big tip for no apparent reason, helping someone with his or her shopping bags)?

8. Does this person donate time, money and energy to good causes/charity?

9. Does your honey value self-growth—and show this by being open to hearing your grievances, accepting responsibility for problems when merited, and sharing with you how much he or she values learning lessons in life?

10. Does your sweetie truly value open communication and know how to listen? When you’re upset or need nurturing, does this person deal with the problem at the speed of life... or shut down/stonewall/attack/condescend? Basically a relationship will survive not based on how well you get along, but by how well you don’t get along. A couple is only as “strong” as how well the two individuals can deal with their weakest moments together.

Why don't people appreciate Dandelions?

2006-04-25T21:51:00.000-04:00

I was walking on the sidewalk, and noticed that a large family of dandelions had conquered the grass next to me. I think they are beautiful. I remember being a little kid, and I would pick a handful of dandelions and take them to my mother. She always acted happy to have them. My older brother would yell, "Those are just weeds!" I think he was jealous.

Sure they're weeds, but to me they are just as pretty as flowers. THen, I thought, there has to be a deeper meaning.
One, I thought of how I've seen good-looking people, and then I've seen beautiful people. My distinction is that beautiful people are attractive inside and out. To be good-looking, however, only takes surface-level grooming. Dandelions could be like those good-looking people, who are just a weed in a flower's body.

I also thought about how people are judged based on their status instead of their qualities. I would have never known dandelions were weeds until someone told me. Oftentimes, we judge people based on how much money they have, or a car, or their education, and automatically discount others who don't have these things. So even though the dandelion have-nots are just as good as the daisy-haves, we allow status to distinguish the two.

Am i reading too deep into dandelions? I love dandelions.

looking at the list

2006-04-23T20:57:00.000-04:00

So dana tells me that Michelle Hammond's book basically says don't make lists because a lot of time we limit ourselves, and that most women have such influence over their man that what they have is different from what they originally had. For example, men who say they didn't have things together, etc., before they met the wifey.

Now I feel that to a certain extent. I like how Wellington Boone calls women kingmakers. But on the other end of the scale, I've heard time and time again that women who think they can change a man are deceived. And then, a lot Pastors talk about only marrying this whole, complete person, as if they should already have it together before you meet them.

I think there's a balance to everything. There are certain things a brotha should have together beforehand, but I don't think we should be closed to helping them out with other things. I know that sounds very vague, but I haven't yet pinpointed all of the must haves versus the will-haves by the time I'm done with him.

Since you insist....

2006-04-18T16:57:00.000-04:00

Dear God,
Here's what I want, though most of the list can be summed in a few. I tried to get as detailed as possible.

(1) he loves the lord my god with all of his heart, soul, mind, strength
(2) understands his purpose and role in the body of Christ
(3) loves children, and wants a house full of them
(4) fun and goofy sometimes, and handles business at other times
(5) above-average intelligence
(6) goal-oriented, and a great leader and visionary
(7) health-conscious
(8) desires to make a difference in the lives of others: No “us four, no more” mentality; a world changer
(9) down to earth, not conceited or arrogant
(10) supportive, and encouraging
(11) I prefer not to marry a pastor, and I don’t want to marry a man that works in a factory.
(12) At least an appreciation for the legal field
(13) Honest at all costs
(14) Displays and constantly develops in the fruit of the spirit

PHYSICAL
(15) Hahaha
(16) Complexion: brown like an almond. If exceptional, I’ll settle for light like a peanut
(17) Hair: I tend to fall for an out of the ordinary hairstyle. However, braids are out. A man with braids in his hair probably doesn’t have a good job.
(18) Body: I, like anyone else, can appreciate a good, solid set of abs and pecs. However, I can deal with any brother that’s not overweight
(19) Height: My height or taller when I have on my good pink heels. If he’s exceptional, I’ll throw my heels away.
(20) Skin: smooth as a baby’s bottom.

Only a few out of this entire list are must-haves. Some are negotiable. Some are just my personal ideal.

Men on Film

2006-04-17T17:47:00.000-04:00

So I saw Inside Man on Saturday night. Very interesting...definitely kind of unexpected turn of events within the movie. Denzel, unfortunately, was not looking like his normal self. He was still attractive...he just looked different.

Someone recently asked me what I want in a man. For some reason, it was a very difficult question. I haven't thought about it in a while b/c I'm starting to appreciate people's differences. It's easier to say what I don't want than what I do. However, I've recently stumbled across a quality that I think I could appreciate in a hubby: one who encourages. It doesn't even have to be oral encouragement. One can encourage with actions and words. For example, if you know your boyfriend has decided to train for a marathon, going to buy him some new tennis shoes, or a nice running t-shirt, or one of those little running back packs--these are all acts of encouragement.

I decided that I want to encourage people in their endeavors more often. I'm going to work on it.

Today I wore a mini skirt

2006-04-13T13:28:00.000-04:00

yes yes, I did. It felt good, not naughty. The weather was perfect--75 and breezy. It was not a nasty short mini or anything. I think it was perfectly mini...it was just enough, but certainly not too much.

I decided that I like mini skirts, and I might buy one more, and add it to my bar-studying wardrobe.

ANywho, I feel better about my body since I began a consistent exercise routine. This preacher from Georgia I was watching the other night said that the percentages are saying that very small numbers of African-American people exercise.

My thoughts: This lack of exercise, combined with poor dieting = our alarming numbers of heart problems and cancer patients. So, my exercising is not for my mini skirts. That's just a benefit. It's moreso for my health. I desire a healthy life.

the log

2006-04-12T17:08:00.000-04:00

It's hard to during times like this. My brain is literally everywhere at once. I'm thinking about soo much. Right now, I think I'd give anything to go somewhere warm and lay on the beach in the hot sun and listen to the sound of nothing but waves crashing against the sand and sea gulls. I would put down my beach blanket, let my hair go, and just lie there.....aahhh.

Forget this whole law school thing. It's overrated. Let's go to the beach...

DECISIONS.....

2006-04-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

So I was at the store today, and found that my lip gloss costs more than my cereal. I mean, what's a girl to do when she has to choose between lip gloss and cereal. Both are vital ingredients to a healthy happy female life. You gotta have cereal for those times when your boyfriend plays you shady, or when you feel fat, when you don't feel like cooking, and not to mention for breakfast. Lip gloss, I mean, it's the foundation of...of..everything human! Where would the world be without it. There'd probably be a lot less kissing if it wasn't for lip gloss, because there'd be more ashy lips, as opposed to lips that smell good, have color, and look like you just smeared sexy chicken grease over them.

So...I splurged....I bought em both.

There goes plan B...shoot!

2006-04-04T15:14:00.000-04:00

I made a pact with my good friend Jon Moss during childhood, that if neither of us was married by 30, we would elope. At that age, 30 seemed ancient. Well, my childhood pal has sold out on me. He's engaged to be married. Sheesh...how selfish can one get? Now what am I to do if plan A doesn't work out?

My solution: I'll find another plan B. But the new age will have to be like 35 or 40. 30 doesn't seem that far off now that I'm a whoppin 25.

somebody help me....

Cream in my COffee

2006-04-03T19:07:00.000-04:00

I discussed today with Joel (white) and K.C. (black and mexican) the subject of interracial dating. Joel is married, K.C. is not. I told them I was wanting some cream in my coffee. I have actually never seriously considered dating a white guy. I do, however, think Italians are quite hot. I also think some middle-eastern guys are cute, but often they're not Christians. Mexican guys are often fly, but they are often pretty short.
I would date outside of my race. I really really would. Part of me desires this experiment. There's this white guy at Word of Faith who I think is highly attractive. Yet, there's part of me that finds its primary attraction to be with chocolate brown men (Boris, of course, is an exception).
K.C. says my dad wouldn't go for interracial dating. I think he wouldn't mind, but might wonder what happened. I haven't completely lost faith in the brothers. There are some good ones out there. However, our community in general is facing some serious issues. Many are growing up without their fathers, and are clueless about being a man. Half of the ones who do have their head on straight are ARROGANT, and don't know how to treat a lady.
I don't expect any special treatment or anything, but it's nice to have an old-fashioned guy who actually values a woman, and knows what one is worth.
anywho, I still consider myself to be an equal opportunity dater.

when I grow up

2006-03-30T12:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, so you get to law school with these wonderful ideas of how to implement change and promote social justice. But, the catch is, you don't find out how corrupt and horrible the system is until you are about to graduate. So, the law sucks, and you are less than two months away from a J.D. What do you do?

Well, maybe I could move to Hollywood, exercise til I'm a size zero, and see if anyone needs movie extras. I could ask the church to ship me overseas and make me an Asian missionary. Or, I could take Mr. Neal up on that nun/monk deal. There's always McDonalds, though I think Taco Bell pays a dollar more. Maybe I'll just stay in school until I die. Or, I could just find a man and get barefoot and pregnant and not worry about working. There's this place called DejaVu that always has employment ads in the paper. Maybe I could start a carwash, or a lemonade stand, or sell Avon. i could move to the east coast, chill outside the New Jersey train stations with my keyboard and a cup.

What's a girl to do?

The Real "truth" about Hip Hop...

2006-03-27T19:02:00.000-05:00

Is G. Craig really right, or is he just one of those Christian preachers that's making the body look pretty bad. He said a bunch of things the other night, including that (1) Kanye West is gay, (2) Tupac got laid down in jail, (3) Russell Simmons and his wife worship these strange gods, (4) Jay-Z worships satan, and a whole bunch of other things. Do I buy it? Not really, but I know a bunch of other people did. This is the same man that said Creflo told Mase to go make that money. Where does he get his info from? Did he interview Kanye, or Creflo, or Russell Simmons? I mean, I could probably build a case agaisnt anyone if I spent enough time on the internet.
Regardless, I'm no longer an all-out G. Craig fan. I don't think it's right to make unsubstantiated statements about people. In addition, i think he now has the wrong motivation behind his message. It's clear that he's more interested in being a controversial preacher than ensruing that young black children be delivered from various circumstances.
Dude even tried to blast Joel Osteen about an interview he had on Larry King live.

I must say, I hate the effects just as much as he does that hip hop has had on our generation. However, lying on people, defaming character, libel, slander...these aren't the ways to respond to it. Praying for people, talking to people, and providing positive alternatives, is probably the more effective route.

Some people are saying G. Craig has a demon! I don't buy that either. I just think he's gone to far with his "ministry."

Feels so Good!!

2006-03-23T16:51:00.000-05:00

It feels so good....

1. to not have to register for classes for another semester

2. to not have to fill out a fafsa form

3. to leave Michigan (no offense, but it's time to go)

4. to help people

5. to go to a Mexican restaurant with all your supervisors and have the time of your life

6. to GRADUATE!!!

7. to be a lawyer (almost)

8. to have supportive, godly people in my life

9. to serve a God that really loves me, and really wants to meet my needs, and address my concerns

10. to screen calls for your boss and know you won't get in trouble for it

11. to be single and confident

12. to smell good today, i used this new dove body wash and it's off the charts

13. to know that my diet doesn't increase my chances of picking up mad cow, bird flu, and other diseases associated with meat consumtion : )

14. to have cool people to work with in the Rental Housing Clinic.

15. to feel secure about my future, even though I don't know what it entails.

I think the list could go on forever

Is there a heaven?

2006-03-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about my priorities. Here's why....
I posed the question to myself, if we really believe that Jesus is coming back any second now, would we really ever sin? Does that mean people say they believe, but in actuality don't believe?

Today as I thought about life's everyday stresses, like the stuff in the middle east, financial issues, school, job, relationships, career, the bar.....the usual stuff, I thought to myself, if I knew that this time next year I would be in heaven, would I even let this stuff bother me?

I know it seems like a strange thought process, but I'm starting to see that many people don't think about the end of the earth, or rapture, or heaven. I think because they seem like scary topics. It's always hard to conceptualize that which you don't understand. And, there are many spiritual issues that the human brain just can't fathom. We just won't know til we get there...and the unknown can be kind of difficult to think about.

TO be honest, I don't really like thinking about it either. I really like life as it is, give or take a few things. And going into gray areas has never been fun for me. So, I guess confusion has tried to hit with regards to how exactly to conduct my day to day affairs.

Maybe I could use some advising

hurting people hurt people

2006-03-16T17:06:00.000-05:00

joyce Meyer says it all the time. SO so true. I talked to this man on the phone today who had the nastiest attitude. He was making all kinds of threats, and just being completely unprofessional. Well, when I finally got to the bottom of it, I found that he had just been hurt by the system, and wanted to hurt back those who he felt caused his hurt. Interesting, but it happens with the best of us.
I wondered if that's why some men cheat and hurt their girlfriends....no, that's just cuz they're jerks.

Is this how a lawyer feels?

2006-03-13T23:08:00.000-05:00

I'm up late.....sleepy. I think I would love to be in bed by 10 every night. Tonight....I need to complete this answer and counterclaim. It's gotta be done by tomorrow, cuz I gotta be in court by Wednesday. At least...I know where my help comes from.

I went to see Madea's family reunion last night. I fell in love...with Boris. haha. Well, not just him, the movie was really good too. I really appreciated a positive depiction of the African-American family. It touched my heart.

Da Scripshas...and why I hate religion

2006-03-12T13:10:00.000-05:00

I heard someone say today, "This week I read Ezekiel 37,38, and 39 in the newspaper." There's an exciting thing about Bible prophesy coming to pass--people who have never experienced or saw God will do so before it's all over. So much is going on in the world right now, particularly the middle east. Nations rising against nations...wars and rumors of such. But, God's people always get the last laugh.

I decided today that I do officially hate religion. "Religion" is empty. There's nothing in it! Just stuff to do. Going to church doesn't make you holy, nor does prayer, or fasting, or doing good things. What makes one holy is their inner commitment to God. This doesn't mean that church, prayer, fasting aren't good things to do. On the same note, it's hard for me to respect religions where all there are is a bunch of rules to follow. Who wants to follow a bunch of rules? That's so boring....not only that, if I was God, I wouldn't want a bunch of people following boring rituals in the name of me, like they're forcing themselves to do a bunch of stuff they don't really feel like doing.

I also have trouble respecting religions that encourage people to kill those that don't believe like they do. My pastor read from a certain religious text a couple of sundays ago, and the congregation was perplexed.

Anywho, God (to me) is so much cooler than a bunch of rules. God is equivalent to love and liberty. I don't think a boring, ritualized church service is a reflection of God. And I don't think churches that have NO impact in the community are a true reflection of God either. GOd brings power...and power changes things.

I remember...

2006-03-11T20:15:00.000-05:00

I was thinking the other day, on Michael's birthday, how things were back when most of my friends were in close geographic proximity to me. It was so cool, and much easier to be a blessing. For Mike's 19th birthday, we gave him a surprise party at Steak n Shake, complete with balloons, dessert, and Dr. Robinson clowning everyone.

I think the funnest birthday I ever had was my 16th. Nothing fancy, no sweet sixteens (I was a hopeless tomboy) ..just me, my mom, and my brother. We went to see Space Jam, went out to eat, and when we got home...lo and behold, a Michael Jordan cake and ice cream...the life!!!
My 24th birthday sucked majorly....it was that day that began a whole series of relationship issues, that only recently came to an everlasting CLOSE. It's finito, you blankety blank!! just kiddin.

By the way happy birthday kevin!

my ideal birthday would be doing something outdoors and fun, like going to Cedar Point, or a trip to the zoo, an outdoor block party with Canton Jones playing, a big picnic with volleyball, basketball, and veggie burgers....a walk on the beach barefoot with a significant other...complete with nothing but a nice, romantic, holy (romans16:16) kiss!!! ahh....the life.

Political, but correct? maybe

2006-03-05T16:55:00.000-05:00

I generally try to stay away from political humor, as these days political matters are such a touchy subject, and some people just can't take a joke. However, I was rolling when I read the "boondocks" comic strip in my school newspaper.
: "Michael Jackson's releasing a Katrina relief song six month's after the storm."
: "What's it called?"
: "Still faster than FEMA."

disclaimer: this comic strip does not necessarily reflect my views regarding the U.S., fema, Katrina etc etc etc, nor is it an attempt to pass judgment on anyone or any organization.

Anywho, spring break has officially begun, and I haven't started breaking yet. I have so much work to do, and I have studying to do also. In addition, I think I'll be making a mid-week 48 hour business trip. Then, I take the MPRE saturday. Chile, pray my strength....

"JUDGE NOT"

2006-02-28T23:56:00.000-05:00

when Christians (and non-Christians) get called out on something they're doing wrong, the first thing they say is "who are you to judge?" Well, there's a big difference between judging a person, and inspecting their fruit. I'm a fruit inspector! I can't help if I see what I see.

Jesus said you know a tree by the fruit it bears. Good trees don't bear bad fruit, and bad trees don't bear good fruit. SO, if you know ur not acting right, you can't get mad if you get called out. I get called out from time to time; I just gotta accept correction and move on.

It's just like, if I played a horrible basketball game today (and I did) and someone comes and says I sucked, I can't get mad. They're not judging, just expressing what they saw from my performance. What else are they supposed to go on, what's in my heart? What does what's in my heart have to do with my game?

With Christians, why is what's in our heart always our excuse for living lifestyles that are no different than the unsaved? There's no excuse. If we can't be told apart, what's the point of being a Christian? If we're not productive in our Christianity, why even rock the t-shirt?

No, I'm not perfect, and never will be. However, my FRUIT should reflect whose side I'm on.

Dear Mr. Hip Hop...... I absolutely HATE YOU!!

2006-02-27T18:07:00.000-05:00

They (young people) do have role models...some of these artists on the videos. Overall, I disagree that there is a positive message in hip hop. Since when was it positive to glorify poverty, pre-marital sex, illicit and illegal, drug and alcohol consumption, possession, and distribution, and murder. I think it's more than a coincidence that hip hop is a common denominator in the lives of a lot of black youth.

Since when is it positive that more black men are in jail than in college? That the black community is dying with AIDS? That black kids' fathers don't want to acknowledge their paternity?

Why is it positive that artists like Kanye West make ignorant statements on TV, and is supported by masses of people who have no idea what's going on? When is it positive that rappers are calling themselves "hova" and mocking God?

Why is it positive that young black girls want to be like Beyonce, who sows seeds of lust into the hearts of men by shaking provocatively, and wearing no clothing, and then turn around and rep God? (but that's a whole nother show)

Why can high school kids memorize the lyrics to these crazy songs, like Laffy Taffy, and I'm in love with a stripper, but can't get their times tables? Why is school and education not cool, but hustling, bustling, and running from the cops is the thing to do?

And why are little boys running around reciting raps about women, weed, money, and the artists getting rich off of the hood's exploitation?

hip hop=the destruction of a people

I was reading some song lyrics yesterday on a website: www.exministries.com It was absolutely ridiculous. And black people wonder why black people aren't getting ahead...and wanna blame everything on "the man." We're keeping ourselves down with this kind of ignorance. "My people are destroyed by a lack of knowledge" (Hosea something). And the wages of sin BE death!! This black people is why many of us are dying.

I could do 10 more entries on this....consider this an intro. P.S. I'm not coming against rap music. Cuz I love some positive rap artists: Cross movement, Canton Jones, Marcus Pittman, and more.

Dis-education of the black man

2006-02-26T14:15:00.000-05:00

I was at work the other day when a lady near me was in her office checking her voicemail, left by none other than a male black. Unfortunately, she was unable to return his call, or forward his message to the appropriate department because....NO ONE COULD TRANSLATE WHAT THE HECK HE WAS SAYING. We are able to interpret about 10 "you naw mean"s and "you nawm sayn" (you know what I mean, you know what I'm saying) In between, I believe I made out a complaint about a judge doing his boy wrong, because his boy is trying to do right and the judge put him in jail anyway. hmmmm....right.

The lady actually put the voicemail on speaker phone to see if anyone else could make out the rest of the mumbo. I couldn't even figure it out, and I've spent mad time on the east side of Detroit. (J.N.) anywho, it was an embarrassment. Who do I blame? no, not the president...hip hop

Pray my strength....

a Day in the LiFe Of a KINGMAKER

2006-02-22T23:21:00.000-05:00

That's me, a kingmaker. I've finally accepted the "call." There's a scripture about virtuous women being a crown to their husbands. Well if we're the crown, that must mean they're the kings. And honestly, I feel that black women have verbally dogged out the brothas long enough. Me included. There was a season where I didn't think I would ever come to enjoy the presence of a black man again. Fortunately, things have changed...I love the brothers, and someday soon I'll be operating in my kingmaking abilities.

Now, there are some things that some of my brothers do that still piss me off.*** For example, the ones that still want to be rappers, or basketball players, The ones that think they're homosexual.*** The ones in jail; the ones with baby momma drama; the ones with gold teeth and nappy fros; the ones who strive to be like 50 cent, Kanye, Jay-Z, or some other poor representation of what a man should be; the ones who forget about God; the ones who forget where they came from; the ones who just aint going anywhere; and the ones who CHEAT***The ones who buy $200 cars and put $5,000 rims on em; the ones who make dating decisions solely off a girl's physical appearance; the ones who act like it's impossible to stay a virgin until marriage; the ones who don't like to read books.*** Otherwise, I love the brothas!

***is an indication that I would like to use vocabulary that would not be considered holy, godly, appropriate, etc., means you can use your imagination.

in other news...

2006-02-20T18:01:00.000-05:00

i just need to ramble. This is week number 7, class number 6, in secured transactions class, and I am yet to read an entire assignment. This is the same prof that is listed as one of my references. Unfortunately, due to my failure to read, it takes me a second in class to understand what the heck is going on. I'm on call for class 8.

I haven't read in Crimpro for about 3 weeks. I just copy and paste briefs from lexisnexis and acted like I briefed it myself when he called on my a couple weeks ago. It was a close call, cuz lexis doesn't brief the dissenting opinions.

I think I've pretty much lost motivation in everything, except for piano and prayer. If I could do those all day everyday, I think I'd be a pretty motivated camper. Schoolwork and the job constantly hogs my time. I'm tired of reading, paying attention in class, deadlines, demands, eating right, exercising, washing my hair, waking up early, movies, cooking, cleaning, driving, budgeting, and much more.

I thought it'd be great to go home and get a break for spring break. however, the saturday after spring break is my mpre exam...there went spring break. This means no real break until...August. somebody help me..................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

should I be upset?

2006-02-20T16:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm not one of those people to get all upset about racial issues. I don't blame stuff on the man. But I was slightly ticked in the clinic today. The prof was complaining that we got off for Martin Luther the King day but not President's day. She said it didn't make sense. .. Doesn't make sense? Huh? I mean, my job was closed for President's day, but not school. Anywho, I tried not to be offended. AS IF MLK is not an important person. As if our world isn't changed because of him. Anywho....

Also at the clinic today, one of our profs gave a quiz--how many days are in each month. Only 2 people got it right (me and another girl). All the guys flunked the test. Men...

Gender roles

2006-02-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

In efforts to preserve my reputation, I've made an affirmative decision not to be too graphic on this blog. I do admit that there are times when certain details should be spared.

However, in efforts to express myself, I will make this statement: There are some days of the month that I wish I was a man.

Enough said

I ball, and sometimes I shot call

2006-02-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

I've been playing basketball on this IM team with some law school kids, a co-ed team, and we've been bringing it! You can't stop us. Naw, for real, we're really good.
Tonight was the first time I had some major trash spoken to me by this girl on the court in a long time. I realized that the last time I really played competitively, I wasn't as sanctimonious. ; ) So I wasn't really sure how to respond to her idle and profane babblings. I ended up just confronting her and telling her to chill out. She didn't say anything else to me for the game's entirety. We beat them like 70 something to 20 something.

Why do I always wait til freakin Sunday night when I'm tired as heck to complete my homework? Somebody help me..

Where's Waldo

2006-02-08T21:30:00.000-05:00

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you met the perfect mate, and then they had the strangest name? Not really Waldo, but kinda like that. Like Allowicious. Or if you married a guy with an extremely strange last name....like Mohatsingrets, or Beefsausagesinski? Or what if you got married and find out your spouse has like explosive booger disorder, or their body shakes when they go to sleep? What if they sleep with their eyes all the way open? Or what if their hands sweat a lot, and then everytime he touches your hair you need ur hair done again? What if everytime you were about to kiss your spouse they began rolling on the floor and giggling uncontrollably? Or, if every time you were to engage in some relations, the inside of their nose started itching, and they began to dig up their nose? Or what if their elbows were constantly ashy?

These are all things that make me go hmmmmmmm. . . . somebody help me.

chicago

2006-02-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

No, not the movie...my weekend. I don't think I could have asked for a better time. Then again, my hotel was kind of ghetto. The bathroom looked like it was about 80 years old. It was probably the first bathroom ever built in the history of the city of Chicago. The continental breakfast was rather enjoyable, on the brighter side of things. I was in the Lincoln Park area; the shopping looked nice but I didn't engage in any of that.

My interviews went very well, and my evening on Saturday with a friend was also a joy. We went to this really cool dessert lounge. They were playing ghetto, east side of detroit type music. But they had this really cool, glow in the dark looking bathroom. It inspired me to remodel. Then we went to this restaurant with an awesome live blues band. Now, I don't believe in the blues, but the band was talented. The drunk people at the table next to us were trying to get us to get up and dance to the music. I generally reserve shakin my groove thang to music like Canton Jones, and I didn't make any exceptions for the evening.

TODAY was a different story. I'm not a wagering woman, but my supervisor at the clinic made me bet her that one of my clients would pay the service fee she owed us. I won the bet, so my supervisor had to buy me a lemonade. It was good.

basketball, boys (men), bears, bulls, cubs, and white sox, clients

2006-02-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

Quite a few different things going on these days:

(1) I played basketball with a law school IM team the other night. We won, and played well together as a team. But I was horribly out of shape. I made only a few valuable contributions. It was fun, and it will motivate me to stay in shape.

(2) A friend told me the one thing that men want. I am officially enlightened to the fact that all men want is PEACE! Now ask me do I buy it....

(3) I'm very excited about traveling to Chicago this weekend. I think I'll ask Minister Kevin to pray with me before I go because I am expecting a lot this weekend. I believe I'll fun too, of course aftermy interviewing is complete.

(4) I officially retained my first client at the rental housing clinic. I mean, I've given advice to various people, but this is my first time like representing someone (outside of a criminal matter). I felt so lawyerly.

(5) Oh yeah, one last thing. I was believing God for a new keyboard and someone blessed me with one today. YAH!!!!!

the popcorn InCIdent...

2006-01-31T17:48:00.000-05:00

Today, all the legal clinicians in the rental housing clinic had to take a group picture. As we were posing, my supervising attorney exclaims, "By the way Tanisha you're in a world of crap for that popcorn incident you pulled yesterday!" The popcorn incident:

Yesterday as I left the clinic I was really hungry and decided to pop some popcorn in the microwave. I put it in for 4 minutes and left the area to talk. I ended up talking to this boy KC about piano stuff, and then I remembered that I had popcorn in the microwave. I got there, and there were 2 seconds left. I opened the door and was greeted with thick smoke. I pulled out the bag--at first I thought it was steam but realized it was way too thick and black. It was only a matter of seconds before the room smelled like smoke. All of the popcorn was completely black and it didn't stop smoking. I took it across the hall and then set it on the hallway floor while I signed out of the clinic. I came back to it to find it still smoking. So then I dumped the popcorn out into this trash can in the hallway, and it looked the trashcan was on fire! THen I dumped the bag into a different can, and jetted out. APparently the smell still hasn't left the place. SOmeone told on me...

my alcoholic timeline

2006-01-31T10:06:00.000-05:00

The last time I consumed alcohol was my 21st birthday. I was at applebees, surrounded by about 20something friends. I had a long island iced tea. My first experience was at the age of 6 or 7, my parents had a party and someone had left their newly opened beer on the table. I finished it off. Yeah, I got caught too...

And then there were a few snippets in between, shortly before my 21st birthday, and shortly thereafter. I never had an addiction, or a problem, and I think I was just doing it because everyone else was.

Now, I don't drink anything but water and juice. It would go against my convictions to drink now. I don't look down on people who do, it's just my personal conviction. Bishop Butler went through some scriptures on alcohol the other day, and said that "mature Christians don't drink." Thought it was interesting, and I'm sure some people were upset.

Besides, I've seen a lot of drunken females led out of parties by some dude. Who knows where they went and what they did.

20%

2006-01-29T17:39:00.000-05:00

On Thursday night, Pastor James Pierce asserted that sex only makes up about 20% of a marriage, so that single people who want to marry only for sex are in for a disappointment. Shortly thereafter, a comedian got up and screamed that he wanted his 20%, and started running around the church.

Check

2006-01-26T10:18:00.000-05:00

In junior high, if a kid told another kid to do something, and the kid immediately did it, everyone would yell, "CHECK!" Or if the teacher said to do something, and it was immediately done, you yelled, "CHECK." And of course, when I tear people up on the chess board, and I'm in a position to attack their king, I yell "check!" It was always fun to yell, unless it was happening to you.

So I was recently checked by a mentor in the ministry! Oh, it hurt, but it was needed, and I realized how selfish I had been in some areas. And, as a result thereof, I feel like i have clear direction with regards to my post-graduation plans. SO, there's like a sigh of relief, but also a humbling process. Somebody help me...

OH GOODNESS!!

2006-01-23T19:19:00.000-05:00

I'm a 3 L , in my last semester of law school and i've been in school all my life and i've been in class all day and all month and all i know is school for the last 21 years and I'm ready to GO!!!!! Help me help me help me IM TIRED OF SCHOOL DOGGONIT DOGGONIT GET ME OUT OF HERE and then when it's all over i gotta do 6 more weeks of school to study for a freaking bar exam. GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

okay im done complaining.

things many people don't know about me

2006-01-23T17:44:00.000-05:00

(1) I love music, which is why I enjoy playing the piano/keyboard, and I enjoy singing on the Praise and Worship team with Selah Campus Ministry. I sang in a play in highschool; I sang solos in the church choir; and I played in jazz bands orchestras, and marching band, but that was back when I was working with the clarinet. And, the only genre of music I really listen to is gospel/contemporary christian.

(2) I'm a vegetarian. Yes, a liberal conservative, if you will. Not much goes on plate that at one time could have run away from me. I do have some dairy products, but I generally use soymilk. It's good stuff.

(3) I've secretly always wanted a gun. Just a small, cute one. Maybe one that's pink. Just to have, and not necessarily to use.

(4) I'm working to rid my soul of a fear of commitment. Not necessarily only in relationships...but jobs too, to volunteer work, to people, to causes, to a state. I don't know why I have a problem with commitment. Maybe because I'm kind of free spirited, or maybe I don't trust people yet.

(5) I got suspended a few times in junior high and high school. My high school guidance counselor told me to lie on my application to U of Chicago. I still got accepted.

(6) I do enjoy certain types of writing. In fact, every now and then I work on a fiction novel I started on about a year ago. I'm not as good a poet as J.N. and M.P. But I do enjoy writing just random stuff, like in blogs. : )

(7) okay if I don't stop there, i might go deeper than i should. : ) not that I have anything to hide or anything.

The state of my mind address

2006-01-22T18:48:00.000-05:00

my lawschool GPA has reached it's highest point, and I must give God the glory. When I first got in school my GPA was pretty average. Now I'm headed toward graduating with honors. I have 2 interviews in Chicago in a couple of weeks. I hate thinking about careers...all they do is put people like me in some sort of box. When I was little, I told my mom I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, carwasher, and a model. This is fine when ur little, but as you get older people encourage you to lock yourself down into one.

So I saw the movie 13 going on 30. The movie had a happy ending when the chic ended up marrying her childhood best friend friend. Is this not scary to anyone? My best friend from kiddyhood was Jon Moss, and we agreed long ago that if neither of us was married by 30, we would get hitched. I'm not sure if I'll be ready to settle by 30--that's only 5 years away and there's so many things I want to do.

somebody help me...

POP LOCK?

2006-01-16T17:32:00.000-05:00

Have you ever sat at the dinner table with two men that are your parent's age, and they commence to explaining to you the dances they do at the club? How they like to pop lock, drop it like it's hot, and perculate? And shortly thereafter get up and demonstrate in the middle of the dining room floor how to accurately drop it like it's hot? Well, this is what happened to me Saturday night when I got to my friend's house after the Pistons game. The following quote resulted:

"Man, when you at the club, them women be dropping it! And you gotta get down there quick so you can catch it!"

I was subsequently asked whether I like pop locking......

GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TEA LEAVES

2006-01-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

Can these be rolled up and smoked? Is that illegal? I'm just curious, no plans of smoking anything.

hold your mule!!

2006-01-11T19:47:00.000-05:00

It's not often that I speak on impulse. In fact, most people complain that I think too much before I answer questions.
Well, those complainers would be proud of me today. The horses broke through the gate before I got a chance to unlock it. OOPS! Forgive me, Jesus.

Sales and Leases, Landlords and Tenants, Beans and Cornbread

2006-01-09T18:17:00.000-05:00

When I was at home, my grandmother made my dad's favorite--beans and cornbread with banana pudding. ahhhhh it was wonderfully delicious. No one's ready for that good good down home St. Louis food.
Anywho, the semester has officially begun, and my brain is yet to accompany my body to my various classes. I think it will be an exciting final semester. I'm particularly looking forward to the rental housing clinic.

Belinda--if you're reading this, thanks for getting me hip to Meet the Browns! My roomie and I watched it last night! hilarious...

My cousin asked me if I got my Christmas kiss. Unless you count the ones from my 3-yr old nephew, my cousin, and my dad, I can't say that I did. However, I did appreciate the ones I voluntarily received from my nephew, as well as the ones I forced upon him.

I think I love books and movies

2006-01-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had like 10 books you wanted to read right this moment? I kind of feel like that right now, but I only read 1 at a time so I make sure I get everthing. Right now I'm reading Confessions of St. Augustine. Why? I like reading people's stories of "finding" God. It's an interesting read. The coolest thing is that some of the same issues prevalent in young people today were faced by Augustine in like 400 A.D. I thought that was cool.

I was reading Discover WHo You Are or something like that. It's this book about PURPOSE! It teaches you how to recognize the gifts inside of you, the career paths you've pursued, the things you like to study, to help you understand how God can use you in the body of CHrist. It's a really cool, practical book.

Movies: right now, MADAGASCAR is at the top of my movie list. My 3 yr old nephew made the whole family watch it over and over during Christmas. It's great! But I would like to purchase the Gospel also. I want to see the Narnia movie

Other books on my future reading list:

5 Love Languages 4 singles
The Millionare Next Door
Screwtape Letters
The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord
not to mention, Secured Transactions, Landlord Tenant Law, and Criminal Procedure because of my upcoming courses. : )

Christmas Eve

2005-12-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

Tis the day before Christmas and I think I want to go home. I had a lunch/dinner party yesterday. It went from like 1 to like 9. Various people stopped by, and ate from my vegetarian meal selection. Only a couple of meat-eaters complained! It was fun. We watched a Christmas story, veggie tales Christmas, another movie, and we talked and had fun times. I cooked some mac and cheese, corn, green beans and potatoes. a made some stuffing from a box and it didn't turn out right so i threw it away. there were also veggie spring rolls and banana cream pie, and cookies and salad and a cheeseball with crackers.

Well, I do want to be home. So, I've been thinking about the location thing a lot lately. I really think it's time to go. Even though there's more that I want to explore with Word of Faith, it's hard to sit somewhere more than a couple of years. And honestly, Michigan just isn't too happening. It's so midwestern! I like the Midwest, but I want a midwest city that doesn't look like the midwest. Otherwise, I kind of feel like the south is calling my name--Oklahoma, TX, Mississippi, Arizona--ahhh warm air, no coats, no snow, shorts and t-shirts everyday. Now that's the life.

St. Louis, Detroit, and especially Lansing, all seem like compromises to my happiness. I'm not sure why. Somebody help me..

My heart leaps

2005-12-22T15:29:00.000-05:00

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 2:3

OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!

inquiries....

2005-12-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

A creative, intriguing, and inquiring mind wanted to know:

How's testing going? Hmmm....it officially begins tomorrow with Family Law and Professional Responsibility. Maybe I'm strange, but I'm actually looking forward to taking these exams. The more I study, the more I feel prepared. Of course, I will feel much better when they're over. God Bless my Professional Responsibility prof., though that's not what I really desire to speak over him right now.
When am I done for the semester? Well, my last exam is on the 20th. Praise Jehovah!! Then, I'll do Christmas shopping. I really want to buy some of those scented pine cones, and make my apartment smell like cinnamon.
What am I doing for New Years? What I would like to do is go to NYC, wear my I love NYC t-shirt (and a coat of course) and watch the big ball drop. However, I think I'll have to compromise and go to St. Louis to chill with the fam.
Will Christmas be Merry this year? Christmas is generally a merry time. Unfortunately, I may not be home for Christmas due to scheduling at work, so I'll either chill with friends in cold cold MI, or I'll go volunteer somewhere--shelter, hospital, retirement home.
Oh yeah, can't forget my Christmas wish list: (1) a 4.0, (2) a particular songbook from Marshall Music, (3) new keyboard, (4) my 1st manicure, (5) some cute winter dresses, (6) flip flops, (7) toe socks, (8) more white polish for my toenails, (9) a kiss!! [just kiddin, Dana!! Well, maybe not...: ) Am I being bad? ]
When was the last time I wore a skirt? lol. I wore one to church last Sunday, though I don't always dress up for church. This time it was corduroy, and I wore it with long black boots and a black sweater. It made me kind of hot in the service.

my first kiss

2005-12-01T14:54:00.000-05:00

So Ed was one of my boyfriends that school year, as was this boy named Johnny Burton or something like that. Now, dude was real popular, which is why I got with him. He was in a gang, so a lot of girls wanted him. We went together for about three days. The only memory I had with him was standing in the hallway together one day watching a fight and he had his arms around me as I stood in front of him. It was romantic…I guess.

I wasn’t until later in the school year that I experienced my first kiss with a boy named Lester. He was extremely tall. We weren’t together, but we talked sometimes. Well, he just walked up to me one day, put his arms on my shoulder, and stuck his tongue down my mouth. Why did I let it happen? I have no idea, but it was serious exploration for me. I had no idea what was going, or how to respond, or how to kiss back, so I kind of just stood there til he was done.

I walked in my class really excited, but kept the secret to myself. About a week later, Lester did the same thing to my best friend, and then the two of us compared notes. Afterwards, we started calling him a dog.

random memories from the 7th grade

2005-11-30T19:14:00.000-05:00

some time ago, i wrote down various memories from growing up. here's one:

I don’t know how me and Tammy fell out. I think it first started when she stole my SWV tape. I begged my mom to buy me that album for the longest. She finally bought it. I took it to school and Tammy stole it from me and lied about it. She was supposed to be my girl. Then she would clown me in front of people. She would talk about my feet, even though we wore the same size. And she would talk about me behind my back and talk about how my clothes never matched. Once again, we just weren’t operating in the finances to have the latest fashions. I might have gotten a few new shirts at the beginning of each school year, and that was about it. One day Jeff Hill took up for me, and told Tammy to leave me alone because my clothes were matching. I grew very bitter with resentment toward Tamira Williams.

One day we finally duked it out. She called me a “B” and I got offended. I told her her mamma, and then she pushed me. It was done from there. I snapped. I honestly believe Satan took over my body for the next 5minutes, because I felt like I entered a realm of darkness. I felt like I was the epitome of violence. I had never felt that angry or offended. I punched, puller hair, tussled, whatever. I pulled out a lot of the chic’s hair. She went to the nurse's office immediately after the fight. She tore my shirt, revealing my lime green bra. I got a lot of phone calls that night after the fight from the opposite sex. One guy told me he thought I was flat before he saw the fight. Most people said I won the fight, Tammy was pretty popular though. She had a fan club of loyals that said she won. I knew I had won it, but I didn’t rub it in, because I didn’t care about it that much. She wanted to get cool again after the fight. But one night she called my house and my mom went off on her

whatever the heck just happens to be on my mind today

2005-11-29T15:08:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in class--two rows ahead of me sits a young lady of completely European descent wearing a weave ponytail that is a slightly different color than her hair, and she keeps shaking it around and brushing it off her shoulders.
I'm 25, and feel like I'm 22. Why, I'm not sure if I'm facing a fear of growing up.
I keep thinking about this kiss...maybe I need to start casting down thoughts. But I was thinking...what if I fall deeply in love with someone and am ready to marry, and then the kiss sucks. Does that mean back out of it?
I am currently on strike from the website consciouslyawaitingadream.blogspot.com
I'm looking forward to Campus Ministry time tonight, though slightly nervous about Praise and Worship
The movie, Pride and Prejudice was awesome. I love Jane Austen. I love British Literature. It seems like women had it so easy back then. all they had to do was grow up, have a good reputation, be attractive, and then the man just approached and said, "i would to have you as my wife" and she either accepted or rejected. then, all that was expected of her was to be barefoot and pregnant., loving her sons and training her daughters to be women just like her.

12. II Cor 9:8 has been my main man for a while here

13. I still haven't revealed my secret crush, despite the inquiries. It's a weird sort of crush. Not ungodly, it came up unexpected, and for a person whose mind I know better than their spirit, flesh, will, and emotions. But, men who are spiritual and intelligent tend to win my attention in a major way.

It's my birthday Shawty!!!

2005-11-28T18:33:00.000-05:00

Yeah, today is my birthday...I'm excited about what the year has to bring--particularly graduation.

I had a great Thanksgiving weekend. It was great seeing all my Kentucky friends/fam. We reunited and it felt so good. : ) I drove all the way down and back on expired tags, and didn't get pulled over, I was fortunate to avoid all encounters with the ex, and I sat at the dinner table where the vegetarians outnumbered the carnivores. It was great!!

MOVIE REVIEW: save yourself some time, money, disappointment and sanity...please don't go see RENT!!!

I read in Dr. Robin's book that since (of course) you're not supposed to have sex with someone before you marry, you'll know if you're sexually compatible just by the kiss. So now, I want a kiss! ; ) Am I bad? Somebody help me....

But back to my birthday, some of my friends celebrated with me last night. Tonight, I think I may roll solo to the theatre and see Pride and Prejudice. I probably won't be able to get anyone to see it with me anyway...

MY COMMUNICATION CONFESSIONS

2005-11-20T23:10:00.000-05:00

Am I good communicator? It depends. If I'm telling you general information, I'm pretty good. When it comes to constructive criticism, or expressing dislikes, I'm not so good.

I recently realized that a lot of the people around me don't really know how I feel about certain things. I am the ultimate protector of feelings, and have found myself in the past being quite deceptive to elude any confrontations which would involve elaborating on one's character flaws.

I think the problem was that back in the day (before I knew Jesus) my mouth was off the charts. I never thought before I spoke. I just spoke, and usually the wrong (and inappropriate) things came out. I was a very disrespectful kid, profanity was my native language, and I didn't care about whose feelings I could hurt.

SO then I did a complete 180, and maybe now I care too much about people's feelings. I didn't tell my last boyfriend about some of his major flaws until we were through. And then, here lately, I've been making attempts to be more honest with people. Sometimes I proceed with caution, and a few times I've had some slips of the mouth.

So, the moral of the story is: please don't ask me a question where I may think that the truth could hurt your feelings. Unless you expressly ask me not to, there's a 75% chance that I will manipulate my answer. Sorry, I'm working on it.

last nights female quotes of the week

2005-11-16T23:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so two of my friends made comments last night that came out wrong (or right) that I wasn't ready for:

1. I have to get some Word in me before I go to bed, or else I be having dreams and stuff.

2. I rub on people I love, that's why I rub myself so much.

Now, I won't name the declarants of these statements!

ANywho, I had fun last night. For the first time ever, I sang on a praise and worship team. It was me, SHawndia, and Eric. I was nervous, and shaking, but my friends said I did really well. Despite my nervousness, I thought it went pretty well. I liked singing in the presence of God. It felt great, but it kind of felt like all eyes and ears were on me.

I love adrenaline rushes.

LOVE jones

2005-11-13T22:40:00.000-05:00

I loved Larenz Tate in this movie. He said a line, and I'll paraphrase: "This is for the birds," referring to love. And sometimes, I agree, even though I know I shouldn't. I wrote a poem some time ago:

OFF THE MARKET

I had more shares than all the holders put together
The broker said put more cuz I was better
than the rest
passed all kinds of trials and tests
in victory
this gain was big for me
regardless of whether the market was bull or bear
this bull was there,
constantly investing every dime
of my money, my heart, my attention, my time
the stock was called
soul love
my spirit man prepared my tender soul
cuz...
the market crashed.....

Some FUN FACTS about the D

2005-11-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

"In August, the U.S. Census Bureau declared Detroit the nation's poorest big city. Here, a third of the residents live below the federal poverty level -- $19,157 in household income for a family of four.
In some neighborhoods, more than 40 percent of working-age adults have some sort of disability.
The city, with a total property tax levy of 73 mills, has one of the highest tax rates in the state. More than 50 percent of its residents are illiterate. Car and property insurance rates are multiple times higher than in the suburbs.
The city's population has dropped since 2000 from 951,270 to 911,402 -- about 4 percent -- the biggest loss of any U.S. city with 100,000 or more residents.
And Detroit has one of the highest rates for infection by sexually transmitted diseases, like syphilis."

So, stay in after midnight (unless you're going to 7/11, Meijer, Kroger, or Super Wal-Mart)

rAnDOmNEss

2005-11-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

* I like when black men wear blue shirts and blue ties

* Kanye shouldn't have said that junk

* I'm turning 25 this month

* I dance in front of the mirror

* I sing in front of the mirror

* I make my roommate hug me every night before she goes to bed

* I love NY, and I want to go to a Bulls game

* After a few years, I bought a pair of tight jeans the other day

* Church is my favorite place to go

* I think I have a secret crush on someone

* I like gold, but I'm not a golddigger

* There's some cute light brothers out there, but I prefer browns

* I hate when people complain a lot

* I appreciate Dana's keepin-it-real-ness

* I love wearing earthtones

* If I got a multi-million dollar acting deal, I would postpone my graduation plans

* playing the keyboard makes me feel gooey on the inside

* I don't like wearing purple

* I haven't kissed a man in about 2 years

* The midwest is cool, but the coasts are where it's really at

* If it wasn't for Word of Faith, there's no way I'd stay in Michigan

* I still think of Eric Harris as my baby cousin

* I have 2 nephews, 3 nieces

* I still think I want at least 3 or 4 kids

* "Aint nothin open after midnight but legs"

25

2005-10-31T23:16:00.000-05:00

I'm headed into my 25th year of life. I feel way too grown; but yet, still like a little kid. Some people say 25 is marrying age. I don't know...I don't think I could do a man any justice right now.
Part of me doesn't feel ready to grow up. And then, part of me is ready to step into a new season. I'm embracing God's work in my life, as far as what he has called me to.

And then, there's the watching of the coming together of law and ministry and my life. It may sound like a very strange combination, but they are going hand in hand for me....can't be separated. I know some people think I'm just way out there (E.H.), and I am. But I can't help thinking about the fact that one day, the only things that will matter are what we do for God. Nothing else....

Me and my lil cuzzin E

2005-10-30T22:26:00.000-05:00

I asked him to be good:

ambicioso82: i am bein good
tbissorich: hmmm, well, i hope so
ambicioso82: im lyin
tbissorich: that's what i thought

the date doctor

2005-10-26T21:49:00.000-04:00

My roomie is headed on a DATE! Her first one, after 23 years of life. I'm so proud.

inspired by J.N.'s poetry

2005-10-24T21:55:00.000-04:00

Okay, it's interesting how everyone in my age group is talking about singleness, dating, marriage, etc., a whole lot lately. It seems like I can't have a conversation with anyone without it coming up. It's kind of cool to know I'm not the only one thinking about it.
My thoughts--well, I know that I'm definitely happy as a single now, but one day, maybe in a year or so, I wouldn't mind dating some ...mighty man. I know that I never ever ever want my heart broken again, so the next relationship has to be a mature one. I also think that the man I marry has serious vision being birthed on the inside of him for the black community and urban youth. How do I know that? It just seems like it would have to be, since that it what is so strong on the inside of me.
I also know that any man I date has to read the following: (1) THe Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman(2) Myles Munroe, Purpose and Power of a Woman, and (3) Dr. Creflo A. DOllar, THe Successful Family. Why, cuz we are going to do this thing right! Right, Dana?
Those requirements alone probably just eliminated over 95% of black men. : ) (jk) Would I date outside my race? Probably , but right now I certainly prefer not to.

Anywho, as for right now, I wouldn't mind having a guy friend to talk with, study with, hoop with, and all those fun things that friends do. Question to the readers: do you think women with degrees are still considered to be intimidating?

gotta say sumthin

2005-10-23T21:56:00.000-04:00

MY HEART IS SOO TOUCHED. I LOVE FACEBOOK! I LOVE FRIENDS!!

anyway, so this facebook stuff is so cool. I've already gotten in touch with a few people who I've been wondering about recently! COOL. It's fun keeping in touch. I'm not that good at keeping in touch. Like there are a few people who I actually pray for and think about often, and just don't get to talk to. I've been trying to tell more people that I'm much better with email than the phone though; especially with school and work and music and my future career to think about.
COOL--Vito and Lew, the coolest prosecutors on the east side of the Mississippi, have both emailed me. My heart is touched. Does it mean that you're getting old when you have friends your parents' age? Well, these are cool peeps, and they have lots of good insight on legal careers and stuff like that. VITO, LEW, JAMES THE INVESTIGATOR, YALL ARE THE COOLEST, and you made New Jersey so much of a blast for me. You too, Pastor Dollar. : )

Today--pulled over by the cops. But, tune in on Tuesday night at Selah campus ministry; I think I'll share my FAVORable testimony.

FACEBOOK

2005-10-23T20:31:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness! If you don't know, you betta ask! Facebook is all that. I've only been on for like a week and already a slew of old friends from the Lou have gotten in contact with me. I'm still learning the ropes, but it's so much fun sending notes and stuff. Here I am in the library supposed to be studying for the week, and I'm catching up with some old homies who I've actually been thinking about lately! It's so cool. Okay, so sure I'm behind the times, and everyone's known about facebook forever. But give me a break....All I do is Jesus, purpose, school, and work.
(give or take a few) : )